a chat over coffee…

I thought it was about time I posted something personal about myself! I enjoy writing entries about Scripture, theology etc., but it doesn’t give very much away about myself, and what God is doing personally in my life at present. So, by having a chat over coffee with you, I also hope to give myself an opportunity to reflect on where I’m at, with life, with family, with God!

Things are undoubtedly busy right now, as I share a house with my daughter and grandson (now 15 weeks old, can you believe! He’s now rolling over onto his front and then carries on rolling onto his back again! I imagine he’ll be crawling soon ) I’m busy with work, with family, grandchildren especially, and trying to ensure that God is always my foundation, the ground beneath my feet!

On that subject, things have meandered slightly recently and I have become sloppy in my devotions This seems to happen periodically, I let things slide and find I am missing out my prayers, my quiet time…and then wondering why my attitude deteriorates accordingly. Usually (but not always) it takes a smack on the cheek from reality to steer me back onto the right path, but this time it has just been a growing awareness that my life is not quite right somehow. Funnily enough, it was missing a train home with my husband last week after going to a concert in Manchester which drew me up short! We ended up stuck on Piccadilly Station until 5am in the morning, trying but failing miserably to get some sleep! My attitude was awful, not to mention my language, and I didn’t deal with the crisis in the manner befitting a Christian! It was like God holding a mirror up to me and I saw myself as this not-very-pleasant person

Much of it comes down to discipline ~ I am a very free-spirited flibberty-jibberty sort of person at heart, and I have realised over the years that I need to incorporate a strong discipline into my spiritual life, or otherwise I end up with this airy-fairy candy-floss-like imitation of faith. After doing a lot of thinking and praying, I have re-committed myself to God’s path for my life, starting off by praying the Penitential Psalms last night. Although not a member of Opus Dei, I have re-acquainted myself with the writings of St. JoseMaria, and incorporated some of the Opus Dei way of life into my daily routine. It feels like opening a window in a stuffy room, and once more I can feel the joy creeping back into my lethargy!

I recognise that I am very much like a butterfly by nature ~ liable to flit from one flower to another but not staying around long enough for real sustenance. Like the life-span of the butterfly, my intentions can be very short-lived! My aim is to be more like the flower…rooted and grounded in God, constant, growing, stable. Even when it appears dead, and the seeds fall to the ground, the flower lives on, as God resurrects it again and again. I guess the spiritual life, after all, is a constant dying to self and being resurrected in Christ.  And as an Oblate, the Benedictine vows of obedience, stability and on-going conversion of life are an important part of maintaining a sense of spiritual grounding for me…

So, that’s where I’m at right now ~ learning (hopefully) from my mistakes, and waiting to bloom again! Thanks for sharing a chat over coffee with me today!