another chat over coffee…

Time for another chat, another catch-up! I’m becoming a rather unreliable blogger, but each week feels like it has a week and a half crammed into it right now! I’m so looking forward to the summer holidays and a good amount of time off work to recharge my batteries. I’ve had the odd day to rest here and there, but not enough to be fully refreshed. I will need a good break this year before term starts again in September, as due to changes in my work department, I will be under a little more pressure than I am currently, and basically providing a service on my own, instead of with a colleague. I will have more responsibilities, and will be working more hours. That will be helpful financially, but I know I will have to streamline here and there. I am working on accepting that this is where God has put me for now. I would like to stay at home full time, but we couldn’t get by without my salary…and I have no small children at home, so cannot justify the life of a housewife at 100%. I keep reminding myself that God has set my boundaries in pleasant places!

I had quite a busy weekend, travelling somewhere I’ve not been before to visit a friend in hospital. I had to catch 3 trains o the way there, but her husband very kindly dropped me off at the middle station on the way home, which cut out one leg of the journey. It was lovely to see my friend, but sad that it was in such circumstances. I just hope and pray that she will be healed and home again soon. I had an opportunity to sit and pray with and for her, and that was a blessing, and the whole visit felt very much under God’s care.

Yesterday I had such a lovely day, which began with the Mass of Corpus Christi. The Church was very full, and there was a hum of chatter (well, more than a hum actually!) as I knelt in the pew to pray. I normally find that so hard to deal with, and wish that people wouldn’t talk before Mass…but somehow I was able to shut it out and talk to God in the quietness of my own heart. But how I long for stiller, quieter, more reverent Masses. I am seriously thinking of joining the Latin Mass Society in my parish, which travels periodically to Holywell for Mass in the Extraordinary Form. I have heard so much about the EF Latin Mass, but never experienced it. Watch this space But I do appreciate the weekday Mass at my Church, which is very quiet, with far fewer people…the rest of the day I spent quietly at home, pottering around the garden, making tea, reading my book in the sunshine. It went some way to refreshing my tired body and spirit!

I am in a strange place with God at the moment ~ kind of  ”hovering on the edge”. I want so much to connect deeply, but am aware of God hovering somewhere just out of reach. It was about this time last year that I had a very powerful experience of the presence of Jesus in my life, which was quite overwhelming. Unfortunately, it was followed by a dark and difficult period in my life. I have often wondered if my very powerful experience with Jesus left me wide open in an emotional sense, and I didn’t deal with that wisely. Perhaps I am being wary, and hovering, rather than God keeping His presence from me. Something I need to ponder on! But I am praying “come Lord Jesus!” and offering an open invitation…

Lord, in Your mercy, hear my prayer…and praying too that you are having a good day! I look forward to chatting over coffee again soon!