Advent is a time of joy mingled with penance. A joy, because we can imagine nothing more sweet than the Christ Child and His Mother Mary’s bliss at his coming. Penance because we must strive to be properly disposed to receive so great a gift of his presence. In the tradition of the Church, we faithful have done penance before great feasts. Advent is the penitential season in anticipation of Christmas.

Yesterday I was at the dentist. Funnily enough, as I was lying there struggling to offer up what was a horrendous experience (I am virtually phobic about the dentist) I got to equating the dentist with the purifying purpose of Advent. During times of the year, such as Advent and Lent, God works on us in order to prepare our lives and our hearts to receive His Son anew. That means digging out the *bad* in us, in order to cleanse and purify. On a spiritual level, it is as if God has removed the crumbling facade (the filling which partly fell out of my tooth on Sunday) and had to dig deep to drill the rot out, just as the dentist had to. Now I am left with a bruised and painful face, and a bruised and painful sense of self. But just as the dentist didn’t deliberately wish to hurt me but did for my own God, so it is with God. But I feel so weak and fragile, like I might break at the slightest touch. I have to be careful with my tooth for a while until it settles; so I have to be careful with myself for a while too.

God allows us these times of mortification in order that we are made more fit for His service and His Kingdom. The majority of this purging, cleansing work will take place after death, in Purgatory, but God begins it in the here and now. What are exceedingly painful times are a means of our salvation. One can choose voluntary mortifications in order to hasten the work of God, but the mortifications which God sends to us are of infinitely more value because they are not of our own choosing. Voluntary penance is still very much in our control ~ submitting to God is harder, because it means letting go of self and choice and freedom. But ultimately the end result will be freedom in Christ.

I am greatly encouraged by the trials the Saints went through, and their personal battles with sin (because much of my personal experience is related to sin). If such holy men and women as these were picked out to struggle with trials and temptations, then I am in good company! During Advent, I shall pray and ask for their assistance and intercession. I just hope and pray that God will give me an equal measure of the strength He gave them.

God bless you!

I have decided to post a U2 video every Tuesday, as I am loving their music so much at the moment ~ enjoy!

And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage you can bring…
And love is not the easy thing…
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can’t leave behind

And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it’s a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong

Walk on, walk on
What you got, they can’t steal it
No they can’t even feel it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight…

You’re packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
A place that has to be believed to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who will only fly, only fly for freedom

Walk on, walk on
What you got they can’t deny it
Can’t sell it or buy it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight

And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Home…hard to know what it is if you never had one
Home…I can’t say where it is but I know I’m going home
That’s where the heart is

I know it aches
How your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Leave it behind
You’ve got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you steal
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you sense
All that you speak
All you dress up
All that you scheme…

I have been reflecting on this over the weekend whilst on retreat…

Advent, as we know, is the season during which we wait in the darkness for the light to be revealed. Christ came into a dark world and is still needed in our dark world. Christ also comes with His light into our darkness, as He did with me this weekend.

I was talking to the Mother Abbess of the community I was staying with about light and dark, and she pointed out 2 things…

a) that darkness is necessary in order to see the presence of light
It sounds strange at first, but it is true! If you light a candle in a bright, light room, you will barely notice it…it will have little impact. But if you light a candle in a dark room, immediately the difference will become clear, and the light will be the central point, the focus of the room.
So it is with us. When life is all light and bright, we can fail to notice the impact that the light of Christ has in our lives. But when we are in a place of darkness, Christ’s light illuminates and provides a centre. It lights our way. But light also reveals things that are hidden ~ sometimes things that we want to remain hidden, and then light can be experienced as painful. When Christ shines His light into the deeper recesses of our lives/persons, it can feel exposing and frightening. Then it is important to remember that light is also warm, and Christ never reveals anything to us in order to harm us, but to healp and heal us.

b) that too much light blinds us
If we stare straight into the sun, we will be dazzled and blinded. If we saw the light of Christ in all His glory, we would be destroyed by His goodness and holiness. So God reveals Himself to us through a glass darkly. In a way He only illuminates as much as we can take. If He was to reveal all to us at once, our frail humanity would be overwhelmed. So we catch glimpses of His light along the way, moments of illumination, times of insight and awareness, but we are not blinded!

Advent is a good time to sit and wait in the darkness ~ in our darkness ~ for the coming of Christ. To be prepared to be illuminated; to also be prepared for Christ to shed light on our sins, faults and weaknesses, so that once revealed and confessed, they no longer have the power to damage us. But because of this, Advent can be a painful time, a difficult time especially if we truly give ourselves to it, without holding back. While everyone else seems to be rushing round preparing for Christmas and going to parties, it is counter-culture to do Advent as it truly needs to be done, to fast, to pray, to repent, and to just wait. But if we do, then God will bless us with the Light of Christ in our lives, which shines brighter than any tinsel or Christmas lights!

I will be posting reflections on Advent throughout the season, perhaps with a verse or thought for each day. I hope you will join me!

Something is about to give
I can feel it coming
I think I know what it is
I’m not afraid to die
I’m not afraid to live
And when I’m flat on my back
I hope to feel like I did

And hardness, it sets in
You need some protection
The thinner the skin

I want you to know
That you don’t need me anymore
I want you to know
You don’t need anyone
Or anything at all

Who’s to say where the wind will take you?
Who’s to say what it is will break you?
I don’t know, which way the wind will blow

Who’s to know when the time has come around?
Don’t want to see you cry
I know that kiss is not goodbye

It’s summer, I can taste the salt of the sea
There’s a kite blowing out of control on the breeze
I wonder what’s gonna happen to you
You wonder what has happened to me…

I’m a man, I’m not a child…
A man who sees
The shadow behind your eyes

Who’s to say where the wind will take you?
Who’s to say what it is will break you?
I don’t know, where the wind will blow

Who’s to know when the time has come around?
I don’t want to see you cry
I know that this is not goodbye

Did I waste it?
Not so much I couldn’t taste it
Life should be fragrant
Rooftop to the basement

The last of the rock stars
When hip hop drove the big cars
In the time when new media
Was the big idea

That was the big idea

Well, hello!

I have been really rubbish at keeping up with all of my blogs lately. I actually feel quite sad about it, as I love blogging, and receive a great deal of pleasure out of it ~ but sometimes, life goes through one of those seasons when other more pressing issues take priority, and I’m in one of those seasons right now. Plus my blogging “head” seems to have got up and gone. I can hardly think of anything interesting to write about! I just seem to be getting on with life and faith, praying and reading Scripture meditatively, rather than asking big questions or searching for answers. Until this week, even simple prayer had fallen a bit by the wayside, but over the last few days I have made that connection with God again. I think the distance had something to do with the fact that I really needed to make a confession! Once done, I felt a barrier had slipped away and was aware of God’s presence again.

So, what have I been up to? Work, for one. I am so busy in my professional life at the moment, and there doesn’t seem to be any let up. It certainly uses up my energy, but I am focused and performing to the best of my ability, and gaining a great deal of satisfaction from my job, so there are hidden blessings! Family too is always busy with one thing or another. My youngest daughter is getting married in a couple of weeks, so of course, preparations are underway for that, and yesterday the family were gathered for my youngest grandson’s service of thanksgiving at a tiny little country church (Anglican) where my daughter and her little family worship. It was really lovely ~ not a baptism, but a blessing (they have decided to let my grandson decide for himself whether he wants to be baptised whe he is older). I read the following poem at the service, which I think is delightful…

Children’s Song

We live in our own world,
A world that is too small
For you to stoop and enter
Even on hands and knees,
The adult subterfuge.
And though you probe and pry
With analytic eye,
And eavesdrop all our talk
With an amused look,
You cannot find the centre
Where we dance, where we play,
Where life is still asleep
Under the closed flower,
Under the smooth shell
Of eggs in the cupped nest
That mock the faded blue
Of your remoter heaven.

Ronald Stuart Thomas

I am one of my grandson’s sponsors, which as it wasn’t a baptism I felt able to do. I promised that I would help and support his mummy and daddy in caring for him, and be there for him, to love and to guide. One day he may decide to be baptised as a Catholic ~ who knows?

Kseniya Simonova, the winner of Ukraine’s Got Talent, and her tribute to the fallen in the “Great Patriotic War” of 1941-45.

I am blessed indeed

The first is from Mary at The Beautiful Gate ~ the Lovely Lady, Lovely Blog Award. Thank you, dear friend

The second is from Cathy over at A Bit of the Blarney ~ the Gorgeous Blogger Award! Thank you so much Cathy

In accepting this award I have to tell you 6 things about myself you don’t know. Now that’s a challenge…let’s see:

1. My most favourite food of all time is cheese on toast! I’m a simple girl
2. I have read the book The Nun’s Story about 20 times and will probably read it 20 more in my lifetime!
3. My favourite film is a German film called The Lives of Others.
4. I am very interested in former East German culture and would love to own a Trabant car
5. I hope to visit Berlin for our holiday next year.
6. I suffer from sleep paralysis from time to time, which is horrid

So there you are! I amsupposed to pass these on to a number of people, but unable to choose, I shall award it to everyone who reads this blog this week Have a blessed day, as I have!

Hello and happy Saturday! It’s been a quiet couple of weeks on the blogging front, and this last week has been our half-term holidays, and I have been spending less time on the computer and more time with family, including a lovely visit from my sister and her family So, I have not deserted you all! Now let’s sit down and sip a nice, frothy cappucino together (or tea, if you prefer )

Actually, it’s nice to sit down and have a quiet day. I am tired, and I am still coughing (and have been for weeks now) I just can’t shake it. We’ve all had nasty viruses over the last month or so, and found that the cough lingers. My husband has it too, so we make quite a duet, coughing in stereo! I have found Covonia night-time medicine helps, as it has  sedative in it which enables you to sleep without coughing yourself awake. The only problem is, you wake feeling like you have a hangover! Oh to feel 100% well again! I need my strength at the moment, as life with an 8 month old is never restful, and there’s always something else to do. The dishes always need washing, the carpets always need hoovering, dirty clothes multiply overnight in the washing basket, and trying to keep meal-times interesting and varied becomes a challenge. It reminds me of the words of Saint Frances of Rome:

“It is most laudable in a married woman to be devout,
but she must never forget that she is a housewife.
And sometimes she must leave God at the altar
to find Him in her housekeeping.”

How true! It is the essence of “Domestic Church”! God is not just to be found in quiet places of prayer, but in the midst of baby sick, spilt food, mounds of laundry and dirty dishes…Even our Holy Mother had to do all the tasks of the housewife, adn it is through Her that our work is sanctified. That is why I love this picture, which depicts Mary hanging out Her laundry! If She could, then I can, and with a heart full of love and joy!

I pray that God will bless you today, in whatever you’re doing around your home

I have joined this weekly meme hosted by Colleen

Sabbath moments are a way of taking time, just “being” instead of “doing”. Sabbath time is time to rest in God, to enjoy God in silence or in nature. Sabbath moments can include: taking a walk, watching the sunset, sitting by the beach, listening to music. Sabbath moments can be a few minutes, an hour, a half a day or ideally a whole day!

Sabbath moments can be planned and they can come up spontaneously, like rounding a corner in the road and seeing a gorgeous rainbow. The word sabbath comes from a Hebrew word meaning “cease.” And that is what we need to do sometimes, cease our activity and live in the moment and breathe in God.

And my contribution for this week is taking time out today to enjoy God in nature, walking through the park and along the river and into town, and recording the Autumnal beauty around me as I went along! Enjoy!